Broken yet holding on
by Little Dreamer On Drugs
Summary: England is alone. He has no one and he doesn't care about that. That's what everyone sees, but what if the truth was the complete opposite? No one would care if he disappears, right? So why were his older brothers there? Didn't they hate him the most?
1. Chapter 1: No one cares

**Hey guys~  
>I've already published this story on Quotev, but since most of the readers on Quotev only read stories with reader-inserts I decided to publish it on this site. I'm also new on this site and I apologize for possible grammar and spelling mistakes since I did learn English for 5 years now, but it's still not flawless. I would be really grateful if you point out my mistakes and correct me so I can improve my English skills.<strong>

**Warnings for this story: Depression, blood, self-harm and bullying!**

**If you can't read things like that, it would be better if you click this story away.**

**Disclaimer: The Hetalia characters I use in the story and the cover image I use DON'T belong to me. They belong to their respective owners!**

* * *

><p>The World meeting was in complete chaos again. Germany tried to calm everyone down, North Italy was just screaming: Pastaaaaa~, America was proposing some stupid and useless ideas, Spain was annoying South Italy, who glared and yelled at him, the other nations just sighed as they watched the chaos. What was France doing? Well, he was annoying and teasing a certain grumpy nation. England was in a really bad mood. No, it wasn't because of the meeting. It always ended up like this. It was something else what put him in this mood. You want to know what? Well, it's because-<p>

America suddenly screamed really loud to get the attention of all the nations. It worked. Everything got silent as they stared at the American, who grinned widely and carried a huge bag. Wait. Where did he get that from? Who knows?

"Good! Now that I got all your attention, I'd like to announce something!" he yelled even though everything was silent already.

He opened the beige bag and pulled an... envelope out? Everyone had confused expressions on their faces except England who already knew _what_ it was. After all was today _the day_. He quietly stood up from his chair and made his way out. No one noticed him leaving. They were all busy waiting for America to continue. England gritted his teeth as he quickly walked away. His bright green eyes dulled and almost seemed empty as he fastened his footsteps. He didn't know where he was going. He just wanted to get away, away from the pain and sorrow. It slowly started raining. The light rain quickly changed into a downfall. The British man could feel tears gathering up in his eyes, but refused to let them free. After he left quite a long path behind him, he sat down on the cold and wet ground, not caring about the dirt and mud which dirtied his neat green uniform and his brown boots. He leaned against a tree and stared at the grey sky. The raindrops looked like million tears. England laughed bitterly. His emotionless laugh sounded through the empty forest. It had rained on _that _day too.

"What a coincidence! It was raining like this too!" Arthur laughed even more. Anyone would have thought that man or nation was mad because he was laughing at absolutely nothing and his laugh just sounded hollow and bitter.

The tears in his empty green eyes _desperately _wanted to be let free to join the cold raindrops which were falling on his body. But Arthur still refused to let them free. That would be a sign of weakness. He didn't know how long he just sat there while watching the raindrops falling from the sky with an empty gaze. The sky turned darker and the air was getting colder too. England was freezing and he was lonely, but why should he care? Because _nobody __cared _about his real feelings. _Nobody _tried to reach out to him. _Nobody _stayed with him. _Everyone _left him. A bitter smile crept onto the blonde man's face. It was no wonder why everyone had left him. He had hurt them after all. So why would someone want to stay with him? He just hurt others. He even hurt his _own_ family. That was why they _hated _him and didn't want to do anything with him anymore. One of his elder brothers even completely left him to become independent. Arthur slowly stood up to get home. He just wanted to crawl into his bed and sleep. He just wanted to sleep forever. No one would care, right? They would be shocked by _England's _death, but they wouldn't be concerned or saddened by _Arthur Kirkland's _death. He was sure that some of the other nations would even _be happy _about his death. His walk was... lifeless. His empty eyes were fixed on the wet ground, his shoulders were slumped and his face was completely emotionless.

Suddenly a too familiar voice reached his ears, calling his name. He gritted his teeth. He knew _who_ just called him. It was one of the main reasons why he was hurt. But nonetheless he put on his usual grumpy and annoyed expression on his now pale face as he turned to the grinning American. He was soaking wet as he was since both of them didn't use an umbrella. Arthur refrained from scolding the younger nation for being reckless and not caring about his health, but then he remembered that he had no right to do that anymore. After all he wasn't his guardian anymore. The thought made him furious and sad at the same time, but he pushed back those negative feelings and looked at Alfred with his usual face expression.

"What is it you bloody wanker? I was on my way home." he broke the silence first. He just wanted to get home.

America just grinned brightly at him and handed him one of _those _envelopes. It was an invitation to the party he hosted, celebrating _the __day__. _The day he got his independence and left England sad and broken behind, not even noticing it. Well, no one noticed it...

"Here is an invitation for you too!" Alfred explained happily, oblivious to the British man's hurt feelings, he hid behind his indifference mask.

Arthur felt himself getting mad. No, _furious_. How oblivious and dense was the American?! Arthur just nodded and put the wet letter into his uniform pocket.

"I'll look if I have time." he grumbled.

"Don't be late, Iggy!" America laughed and ran off, leaving behind a broken man again.

"Stupid America..." he growled and pulled the envelope out. He glared at it for a while before ripping it in thousand paper pieces and stomping on them. After he had stomped on them for a good while, so the pieces were mere little shreds now being washed away by the rain, he walked off.

Now Arthur just wanted to be in his bed even more. He just wanted to lay in his bed, drowning everything and everyone out, so he started to run home. His house was always empty, no one was waiting for him, so why was he always going home? He didn't know. Maybe because a little hopeful voice in his head always tried to tell him that maybe someone was waiting for him to get home.

He opened the door to his huge house. The soaked British man didn't care about the fact that he was making his floor wet and just made his way to his room.

"Why are ya soaked, Artie?" a mocking voice asked. Arthur froze as he heard the all too familiar voice of his eldest brother. But secretly he was kind of happy that someone did wait for him to get home, but this... wasn't just someone.

"What are you doing here, _Scotland_?" England glared at the smirking redhead, who had made his childhood into hell.

"Don't forget us, _Artie_." another mocking voice said. England turned to the other source, who had hurt him _a lot _in his childhood too.

Ireland was now standing next to the tall Scotland. They both stared down at the British man with mocking expressions on their faces. Arthur wanted to run away again, away from another main reason of his pain and sorrow. He could see his last elder brother sitting on his couch, calmly sipping his tea. Wales.

"It's rude to not reply to your elder brothers. That really wounds me." Ireland said with a fake hurt tone and laid a hand over his chest where his heart laid like he was physically hurt there.

Arthur just gritted his teeth, but said nothing. He clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He was already hurt enough. So why did his brothers just had to make his day get even _better_?

"Just leave me alone..." Arthur whispered. He realized that his voice was sounding hoarse and weak from the screaming and laughing in the rain like a mad man, but he didn't care. England quickly pushed past his brothers with his wet bangs covering his eyes and retreated into his room.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope that the first chapter wasn't all too bad and that there weren't many mistakes. :-)<strong>

**Thanks for reading !**


	2. Chapter 2: It doesn't hurt anymore

**Hey guys~**

**Thank you all for your helpful and kind reviews! I was really happy and I hope I've found all the mistakes and corrected them. The link to my Quotev account is in my profile if you'd like to check it out. I'd also like to tell you that I won't write with their accents since I really can't do them right. Just imagine them talking with their accents.**

****Disclaimer: The Hetalia characters and picture I use in the story DON'T belong to me. They belong to their respective owners!****

* * *

><p>Arthur slammed the door close and leaned his back against it. He slumped down to the red carpet, making it wet with his soaked body, but he didn't care. What were his brothers doing here? They <em>never <em>visited only when they wanted to tease and bully him or when it had to do with business. They _never_ came just to _see_ _him_.

Burying his face in his gloved hands, he tried to bite back a sob. Why did they have to be here _now_ of all the times? If they knew how broken he was, he was bound to get bullied even more. He couldn't take it anymore. Why did everything just had to hurt so much? Why are all people he cared about hurting him and leaving him even more broken than he already was? Why did they have to kick him down even when he was already lying on the ground? _Why_?

A quiet and hollow laugh escaped through his mouth. The answer was crystal clear, so why was he asking himself every time? He slowly stood up even though his body protested, but somehow his body moved on his own. A sharp dagger glinted on the night table next to his bed. It was the dagger, he used to carry with him all the time while he was still an infamous and feared pirate. The material of the hilt was pure gold and graceful linings decorated the hilt. He grabbed it and stared at it for a while and examined the sharpness of the old dagger with his fingers. He was being careful so he didn't cut himself even though he wore gloves. The blade was still razor-sharp. His eyes softened and a small light appeared in his dull eyes. That was a good time. His brothers had always teased him, but he could always see a hidden loving glint in the unique pairs of different shades of green eyes all three of them had when they saw him. Suddenly a deep frown appeared on his face and the light in his eyes disappeared in a blink. Now there wasn't any loving or soft glint in their eyes anymore. Anger and hate replaced those two emotions. England gritted his teeth as he felt his dull and empty green eyes tearing up again.

He snapped back to reality when something warm flowed down his arm. The broken nation blinked and stared down at his hands. His right hand which had tested the dagger now tightly clutched the sharp blade, breaking through the fabric of his black glove and the skin of his palm. The cut was quite deep and was bleeding rather heavily. England blinked again and stared at his blood-coated dagger which was _still_ cutting into his soft skin. _Huh_? Why wasn't he feeling it at all? Where was the pain?

After some seconds he finally took the sharp blade out of his palm and stared at the deep wound which was still bleeding and painting the green sleeve of his uniform dark red. He _still _couldn't feel the pain. Sure, he had _much _worse in the past. Almost scoffing, he compared this wound to the others he had received in his past. This cut was _nothing _compared to the injuries and wounds he had gotten when he had been at war or on sea. But still.. he should have felt at least _a bit_. He wasn't like an ordinary human. Well, he _was _a nation, but he could still feel pain. Yet he _didn't _even feel a bit when he injured himself a few moments ago and he was _still _bleeding.

Shrugging it off, he laid down on his bed, not even bothering that he was making his blanket and pillow with the flag of the United Kingdom on it, wet or colouring his white bed sheets red with his warm blood. No, he just didn't care anymore. The broken nation slowly fell into a dreamless and hollow slumber, not feeling how his blood still leaked out of the injury or how his body screamed at him to change into something warm and dry since his body was freezing cold or well, _any_ pain at all. He just _didn't _feel _anything_. In the past years he had hurt himself_ a lot _because of his always absent mind and he had _never _felt any pain now that he thought about it...

Wales' stoic face held a tiny hint of worry and curiosity as he watched his younger brother bolt into his room with his wet bangs covering his eyes. He noticed that it wasn't the usual sad or angry face England usually made when they were around. That expression on his face was something _completely_ different. He turned to his other brothers who were looking at the spot where their younger brother had been a few seconds before.

"Did you notice?" Dylan asked them with a minuscule frown on his face.

They looked back at him and nodded. They all had noticed how the state of their younger brother was. It alarmed them. They had never seen him like this.

"What is-" Seamus began, but then his green eyes which resembled the green eyes of the other members of the Kirkland family quite much, but his strongly resembled the colour of a clover, widened. Arthur had the brightest shade of green out of them, Allistor's eyes were a beautiful jade-green and Dylan's were a deep forest green.

His face expression hardened. "So. Today is the day that brat left him right?"

The other two men kept quiet. It was quite obvious how hurt England had been after America left him.

"Should we check on him?" The Welsh man broke the silence and sipped his tea.

Without saying anything, Scotland walked upstairs. Sending each other knowing smiles, Ireland and Wales followed after the older Kirkland.

The red-headed man opened the door without knocking or saying anything and opened his mouth to yell at his younger brother, but he shut his mouth when he saw the dark red spots on the red carpet. Ireland bumped into his slightly taller body and glared at him. He almost cursed at him, however another hand covered his open mouth and he turned to glare at Wales. The usual stoic man had a worried and slightly alarmed expression on his face and motioned for him to look into the silent room. Seamus shot him an annoyed look before swatting his hand away and turned to look over Allistor's shoulder. His bright green eyes widened. The carpet colour was a slightly dark red, but some spots were even darker and thin lines were heading to the messy bed where England laid. Allistor's jade-green eyes widened as he took in the broken sight of the strong nation. His drenched body laid on the centre of the huge bed. Next to his head laid a dagger which he knew _very well_. Fresh blood coated the blade and the owner of the blood was found immediately. Arthur's palm had a deep and fresh-cut, revealing a small sight of the inside of a human hand.

While sleeping the youngest out of them would always have a peaceful mask on. This time however he had an emotionless and empty expression on his pale face. He looked like a human-sized doll. Scotland frowned and quietly approached the sleeping figure. The other two followed him with equal expressions.

The Scottish man looked down at the soaked country and raised a hand. Dylan and Seamus watched him shortly before shifting their slightly worried gazes to England again. Frowning deeply, Allistor placed his hand on his forehead and gently let it rest there.

"You're such a stupid little brother. Just talk to us if you have problems or need help." he said in a much less aggressive and mocking tone. Nothing like the tone he had always used to speak with him. He used a kind and gentle voice he never used in front of England except when he was a little baby.

"Allistor..." Wales' quiet voice made the eldest look at his other brother.

Without saying anything more, he motioned to his revealed chest. After Arthur's running around in the rain, some of the buttons of his uniform had opened themselves.

"What the fuck?" Ireland gritted his teeth while looking at England's bandaged chest.

"Hey. Do you think..." Wales' voice trailed off and the older members of their family looked at each other and nodded curtly.

* * *

><p><strong>Scotland - Allistor Kirkland<strong>  
><strong>Wales - Dylan Kirkland<strong>  
><strong>Ireland - Seamus Kirkland<strong>

**Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3: This time

**Hey guys~**

**Thank you for the kind feedback! I really appreciate it and don't hesitate to write some constructive criticism as long as you stay nice. I'm always happy to improve my writing skills and I apologize if you have some trouble reading the chapters because of my poor writing style. Please help me improve and enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The Hetalia characters and the picture I use as the cover don't belong to me. They belong to their respective owners!**

* * *

><p>Dull green eyes which had once shone with happiness were now completely empty. The soaked owner of them noticed that the moon and the bright stars had came out and replaced the previous dark grey sky. His eyes darted to the clock next to his bed. 9pm. America's party had already begun at 8pm. Even though he didn't want to move, Arthur slowly sat up. Then he noticed something weird.<p>

"Huh?" he mumbled under his breath and raised his injured hand in front of his face. The darkness almost covered up the little detail, but he could still feel it.

His deep injury had been treated and was now wrapped up with a clean bandage. But who had done this..? _Nobody_ cared about him... so _who_ would help him?

'What if somebody did care about you?' a little voice in his head asked. It was filled with hope.

Arthur scoffed and shook his head, trying to get rid of the annoying voice. _As if_. Just shut up, you bloody idiot. Don't get your hopes high and you won't get hurt anymore. This was his opinion of how to keep yourself from falling apart and not getting hurt again and again.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Flinching at the high-pitched sound, he sighed quietly and reached for his cellphone. Bloody hell. Why couldn't the wanker just leave him alone? England barred his teeth at the caller ID and chucked the device at the wall. The loud and harsh impact resulted in it breaking. He just watched it break into pieces and falling on the dark-coloured carpet. Suddenly loud noises came from downstairs and he recognized an obnoxious voice which made him grit his teeth. His fists clenched tightly. The sharp pain of his injury didn't faze him at all, he didn't even _notice _it.

"Dudes! Just let me see England! He has to come to my party!" America's voice whined.

Rather reluctantly the hurt nation stood up and left his dark room. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut as the bright lights from the long hallway blinded his vision for a moment. With one hand slightly covering his eyes he walked to the stairs, preparing to kick the ex-colony out. He didn't want to hear his annoying voice right now and he certainly wasn't going to the stupid party. A monotone voice made him stop in his tracks.

"Get out." He recognized the firm voice of his similar-looking older sibling Wales'. It surprised him. Did he imagine it or did his usual monotone voice sounded slightly angry?

"No! Why? I have to bring England to my party!" It was obvious to him that America was pouting by now. He didn't need to see him. He just knew. After all he had _raised_ the now grown-up nation.

"He won't go. Now get the fuck out!" Ireland's angry response rung through the tense air. Well, _that_ wasn't surprising. The Irish man almost _always_ sounded angry or _at_ _least_ frustrated, but somehow this was somewhat different from his pissed off tone he had always when he spoke.

"Just let me talk to him!" America continued to whine and pout like a little child, who didn't get the toy or candy they wanted their parents to buy for them.

**BANG!** England and America jumped, not that the first of them could see the other, he just assumed it by the American's _very_ _manly_ squeak.

"Stop being an annoying brat and leave before I'll make you." The last of his elder brothers calm voice said. Arthur shuddered since he knew that the calmness of his red-headed brother only meant that he was _really_ pissed at this moment and now that he could see the Scot's expression it only confirmed his suspicion.

"B-But!" Alfred stammered nervously. It was true that he was quite oblivious to many things and pretty dense like all the time. However even _he_ noticed the calm expression and tone of the Scot which only masked his anger and frustration. He had always been slightly nervous and tense around the older man.

"Get. Out. **NOW**." Allistor's calm voice changed at the end of his short sentence. Angry and intimidating. Those were the adjectives which anyone would use to describe the voice.

America opened his mouth to protest anyway. Sure, he was somewhat afraid of the intimidating Scot, but he also knew that he was stronger than him. However he didn't want to pick a fight with the whole Kirkland family even the former colonies would be against him. The bond between the Kirklands was rather... complicated. That was one of the two main reasons why the family greatly confused him. They seemed to hate each other, yet somehow it also seemed like they love each other. The other reason was that if someone attacked their family, they would help each other out and lend the other a hand. He had often witnessed those weird spectacles and it only made him feel more confused about them. Yes, that was a strange and broken family. Alfred's bright blue eyes darkened as he thought more about the broken family. He had sometimes seen his former caretaker clutching a dirty and worn-out brown cloak and crying into it. England never knew that and the now independent nation would never tell him. Even though Arthur never talked about it, he knew that he had always thought about his broken family and how his brothers seemed to hate him. It enraged Alfred. He was an independent nation now. That however didn't mean that he had stopped caring about his former caretaker and nation who had been his big brother for a long time. Actually he still loved him dearly in a pure brotherly way of course. That's why he had always been angry at the older Kirklands. They had hurt Arthur so much and even nowadays they've never stopped.

The Kirkland brothers including Arthur were surprised by the sudden change of posture and the rage and hatred in the bright blue eyes of the usually goofy and happy American. Arthur's eyes widened as he recognized the rare serious and dark expression on his ex-colony's face. He knew that America wasn't just the naïve and always happy-go-lucky nation he appeared to be. No, that seemingly innocent grown-up could be as worse as Russia. Arthur nervously bit his bottom lip. He had only seen this look on exceptional events such like the World Wars or the American Revolution. He should better interfere before something really bad will happen.

"Why do you even care? You never cared about what England does and how he is doing." The words just blurted out of Alfred's mouth before he could stop them. His glare intensified as he looked Allistor dead in the eye.

The older of them was still too surprised to say something. He had always seen the younger nation as an annoying brat who was frustratingly naïve and stupid. However the said annoying brat is confidently standing in front of him and his brothers, not showing even a sign of fear or nervousness. His glare could even match Russia's frightening expression and the dark aura that always surrounded him. That still didn't mean that he would back down. He calmly stared back at the fuming American. The silence between them had already been quite tense, but now it suffocated England.

"Why you-!" Seamus raised his voice again, however Alfred only shifted his dark glare at him and said something that made every Kirkland in the room freeze.

"You never cared about England. **You **three hurt England the most. **I** was the one to pick up the pieces and mend his broken heart. So why are you suddenly caring about him and what he does? Do you want to get close to him just to hurt him again? You never stopped hurting him and even now he's hurting because of you."

America looked at the quiet older nations with a blank face before finally noticing the main subject of their discussion.

Wide green eyes met regretful bright blue eyes.

Alfred shifted his gaze back to Scotland, Ireland and Wales and smiled sadly. He understood the silent message.

"Don't you dare to hurt him. If you do, I'll make you regret ever being born." he snarled at them and gave Arthur a short glance before leaving the house of his former caretaker. He didn't slam the door. No, he wasn't a whiny and tempered teen. Even if he did act like one, he also did grow into a man. He chuckled lowly as he made his way back to his large mansion where a huge party was held. The main reason why he didn't slam the door was England. England would scold him if he did. The nostalgic expression was slowly replaced by a small frown. He really missed England.

Arthur, who was still standing at the top of the stairs, silently hid behind the wall as the little scene was over. Well.. maybe he should just lie down again?

"Arthur. I know you're there. Get down here." Allistor commanded sternly.

**Gulp**. The still soaked nation slowly walked down the stairs. It felt like an eternity before he finally got to his brothers. They were looking at him with neutral expression on their faces. Arthur gulped again. Oh bloody hell. What were they going to do to him now...? He didn't think he could endure any more pain at this moment. Not now. Not when he was practically dying inside and particularly not on _this_ day. Any other day would be fine... but today was rather inconvenient. The heated argue which had almost escalated wasn't making things better. He didn't notice how he started to shake lightly and how tears filled in his beautiful, yet pained eyes. Fortunately... or unfortunately the three oldest out of the Kirkland family noticed it.

"We need to talk." Wales began as calm as always, but the almost perfectly hidden worry in his own set of unique green eyes showed that he wasn't as calm as he pretended to be. Scotland and Ireland could easily see the emotion. Only the youngest out of the four of them couldn't see it.

"A-About what?" he stuttered a bit which resulted in him cursing in his mind. _Fuck_. He couldn't show _any_ weakness in front of them! They would only tease him and bully him even more than before. Damn it! If England would feel anything, he would have felt how his head pounded painfully or how his body didn't just shake because he was trying to hold back his tears.

"Why-" Scotland began to ask with a firm voice, but then his eyes widened and he called out the name of his younger sibling.

"Arthur!" The strong nation let his heavy eyelids close and didn't realize how his weak body started falling forward. It's as if someone turned the power for his body off. Just like turning the lights on and off.

He didn't witness or felt how his body was caught before he met the hard ground. Everything was just dark and empty like always. It made him feel scared and vulnerable.

Allistor who had caught Arthur's soaked body frowned deeply as he noticed how cold and how light his body was, yet as he placed his rough hand on his forehead, he was burning. The two other older nations knelt down next to them. Their eyes were filled with worry for the weakened man.

"That idiot got really sick." Allistor muttered under his breath and carefully pressed the rather petite body of England closer to him, sharing some of his body temperature.

"Carry him upstairs. I'll go call a doctor." Dylan ran off without waiting for an answer.

"That stupid bastard.." Ireland growled as he followed after the older redhead who was gently, yet quickly carrying England to his room.

Scotland just kept silent as he carried England even though he appeared calm and controlled, he was anything but calm and controlled. Actually he was panicking and heavily worried now. The older brothers seemed to not care for their younger sibling at all. That was what everyone and even the said younger sibling saw and thought. The actual truth was far from it. Everything they did was for the once weak and vulnerable nation to grow up into a strong and independent nation. Everything they did was only for the best for their baby brother. Sure, they had been rather mean and even cold-hearted to him, but even if they had been gentle to him, he wouldn't have made it this far. Germany and Prussia were a good example. The Prussian had been too soft and gentle to his younger brother. Now what had happened? He had lost several times and even resulted in Prussia getting taken by Russia. Heck. He had to endure horrible torture for years! There was a good reason why everyone feared the cold nation... England and America were another good example. England had been too caring and soft. The result was that he had been broken by the American Revolution and America leaving him. He _outgrew_ him. The message is clear, right? Don't get too attached or you'll get hurt. Don't be too soft either. Everything and everyone could hurt you in the end. Even the people who you think would never hurt you.

Allistor kicked the door open and carefully laid Arthur down on the slightly wet bed. Seamus was right behind him and helped him change the sick country into warm and dry clothes. Maybe it would be better if they moved him to another room? The bloodied and damp bed wasn't really helping. It would probably only worsen his condition. After they had gently changed him into a pair of light green pyjamas, the older of them carried him to the room where he was always staying when he had to stay over. It quite rare, but Arthur made sure it would always be prepared and clean for him. The Scot's jade-green eyes widened as the realization hit him right in the face and he almost stumbled while rushing to the room. The rooms for the older Kirklands had always been clean and neat every time they would come over. There wouldn't be even a speck of dirt or dust. Did... Did he always clean it and kept it neat, waiting for them to visit him...? A painful pang of guilt made his heart stop for a second.

"Allistor? What's wrong?" Seamus asked him with an uneasy mask while tucking Arthur in the dark-coloured comforter.

"He's always waiting." the quiet answer made the short-tempered man look at him with a confused frown on his face.

"Waiting for what?"

"Waiting for us to visit him." Dylan answered the question as he entered the room. Guilt and regret were the only emotions swimming in his calm hues.

Ireland pressed his lips into a tight line. His grip on the comforter got tighter. Now he too realized that everything would always be prepared whenever they or only one of them came over.

"He was.. no.. is really lonely isn't he?" he murmured, biting his bottom lip firmly until it began to bleed.

The room was encased in complete silence. They all knew that the young nation had always been quite lonely, but they have never noticed just _how_ lonely he was. It made them feel even more guilty. It was their little brother! Older siblings were supposed to watch out for the younger ones and care for them for fuck's sake! But what had they've been doing? The complete opposite and only _now_ did they realize that the once strong and headstrong nation, their younger brother, was hurt. **No**. _Broken_. The harsh words which were only the painful truth from America sounded in their minds.

Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

The doorbell disturbed the quite gloomy mood and America's cold voice in their heads. Dylan silently went to open the door while the two others were watching over England. Only seconds later did he come back with the doctor in tow. Doctor Lewis King was one of the most famous doctors in the world. He was one of the few humans who knew of the personifications of all the countries. His favourite one was England of course. He was born and raised in England so it was understandable he would chose him as his favourite nation. However it wasn't because it was his home town. No. It was because he knew that the personification of the United Kingdom was a good man with a big heart. It had made him sad when he had treated him after the American Revolution. He looked heartbroken and almost... empty. Wondering how a mere human like him would still be alive after almost three hundred years? At first he was surprised, well shocked, too. But Arthur explained to him that he was the only one who he could talk to or sometimes just sit down while drinking tea in silence, so he always searched and found him every time he would be reincarnated. It had often happened that he would be born in another state or even continent, but his great friend would always find him and make him remember who he first had been. He did believe in reincarnation and being reborn again. However it was and still is a great shock to actually have it happen to themselves! In the beginning as he was reborn for the first time, he had almost knocked England out with a frying pan. But after many times of living through the process, he had remembered the first memories in just a few seconds. It almost made him smile to think about his great friend. He would always come running to him if he was hurt.

Suddenly a deep frown appeared on his slightly wrinkled face. He had taken off the top half of the pyjama to listen to his heartbeat. His whole upper half was covered in a clean bandage.. The formal suits had always covered it, but now it was clearly visible to the people present.

Ireland clenched his fists as tight as he could. "Who the fuck had done this?" he growled lowly. There were no wars going on at this time and nothing seemed to go wrong in England. So who had done this and why? One thing was for sure. If the older ones of the Kirkland family found out who it was. Well. The culprit will _pay_ and hell was going to rise. They couldn't make their past forgotten, however they knew that the future doesn't have to be bad like their past together. They could make their future completely different.

"Did he hurt himself again?" Dr. King asked in a serious and worried voice while analysing their shocked faces.

"Yeah... Wait. _What_? _Again_?" the present relatives of the depressed country asked with narrowed eyes.

The doctor shifted his gaze to his unconscious patient and sighed. "You didn't know? England was rather depressed after every blow he had received from the people he cared about. Well, it's not like he intentionally hurts himself to be exact."

"What do you mean?" Wales carefully sat down on the other side of England. His gaze was set on him, demanding him to answer.

Lewis wasn't fazed by the intense stares he got from the three younger men. He almost let out a quiet chuckle. He had seen Arthur getting drunk several times and one time his gentleman personality changed into his pirate personality. That was _definitely_ more scary. The people who had witnessed him in his pirate days had his sincere pity.

"At first he was only rarely deep in thoughts. It worsened after every time his beloved people would hurt him. Now he seems to be like a walking corpse. His unconscious self-harming began with light cuts and now he burns or cuts himself while cooking or he would barely miss a car." the doctor revealed to the shocked older brothers.

They had guessed that his depression was quite bad, but they didn't think it would be _that_ bad. Looking at the youngest out of them, they got a determined glint in their eyes. They had failed once. It can't and definitely _won't _happen another time. Who knew what Arthur would do to himself if he was hurt another time. It was painfully obvious that he was almost broken beyond repair. However only _almost_. There was still hope even if Arthur didn't know nor believed it anymore.

"Seriously... Arthur." Wales murmured quietly and brushed some blonde bangs out of his face.

Tense and heavy silence filled the room while the doctor unwrapped the wet bandages. The injuries hidden by them made the people in the room frown. Seamus cursed and stomped out of the room, Wales quickly following after him. The eldest Kirkland just watched Lewis treating the infected wounds with a neutral expression. Anyone would have said that he was heartless since he wasn't showing any emotion or reaction to the horrible wounds his younger brother harboured. However if anyone would look closely they would notice how he clutched his biceps because he crossed his arms over his chest. England's chest was covered with deep and poorly treated cuts, almost all of them would end up as scars and dark bruises accompanied them. Some of the cuts and bruises looked fresh and some looked rather old. Allistor's magnifying green eyes darkened. Oh. The culprit won't pay. They would **_regret_ _being_ _born_**.

"Seamus." Wales called out calmly, making the angry Irish man stop.

"**FUCK**!" he shouted out enraged and punched the wall next to him. The strong and aggressive punch made a deep hole in the wall and he could feel how his black glove got wet at the knuckles. No doubt that they were bleeding from the impact.

"Who the fuck did that to him and why didn't we realize how fucking broken he is?" Ireland's tall and sturdy body shook with rage and frustration. He was angry at the bastard who hurt his little brother. He was angry at Arthur for not telling them anything. However he was more angry at Scotland, Wales and _himself_. They hadn't realized _anything_ and if they hadn't treated Arthur like some worthless shit, he would've told them! Sure, they did that to make him stronger, but he admitted that sometimes, no, _most of the times_ they went too far. Before England had been strong, he had been too weak and too sensitive. It would have only weakened him more if they had treated him too lightly. Seamus gritted his teeth angrily. Growing up without any loving parents or siblings was horrible. England had to endure so many painful things. He was given the fault for killing their mother even though all of them knew that he wasn't at fault at all. He also grew up without any love or affection. It was no wonder that he was pretty attached to those he cared about.

The Welsh man didn't say anything. He, himself, was angry at them for not realizing sooner. Although it didn't seem like it, but they genuinely cared about Arthur. It's true that they often had many serious fights and yeah, England _did_ hurt them several times. However that didn't mean that they didn't care about him. The stoic nation shook his head. They _loved_ their family and especially him. Seeing him being broken all the time with them not noticing made his blood boil. Dylan slowly approached the enraged independent country and placed a comforting hand on his back.

"We're going to watch out for him now." he said firmly, making no room for protests.

Their eyes connected. Their unique pair of two different shades of green stared into each others soul.

The short-tempered Irishman wasn't one for gestures of affection, but now he needed it. So he wrapped his arms around the slightly shorter man and buried his face into his shoulder. All of the older Kirklands weren't really affectionate, just in times like these. Wales gently hugged him back. He didn't want to admit it. He needed this comforting gesture too. Suddenly a hand was placed on top of each of their heads, startling them. However neither of them let each other go.

"The doctor is giving him some medicine right now." the tall Scot informed them.

His lip ends curved upwards a bit and he ruffled the different-coloured hairs of his younger brothers. "We will protect him from now on. Like we should have done in the beginning. It's not too late and I sure as hell won't let him get hurt anymore. After all he's our baby brother."

Seamus and Dylan smiled a little and nodded.

Yes, this time they were going to do things right no matter what.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha this time there is no cliffhanger. I didn't want to be mean. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really tried to avoid repeating my mistakes and words.<strong>

**Thanks for reading and I look forward to seeing your constructive criticism and reviews!**


End file.
